Ace at Romance

Howdy folks,

It's been a hot minute since I've posted here. I really hit the ground running with this fire season. In addition, I have been working hard with Lauren on the newest drafts of Frostfire and Fated. Fingers crossed for both of those.

But, setting those aside, I wanted to talk about a question I have encountered recently after having come out as asexual and aromantic. To elaborate, I do not experience either sexual attraction or romantic attraction to people of any gender presentation. Neither do I lament this lack. I have had sex, both good and bad, and been in an intimate and long relationship. My point of view of the entire matter has always maintained that there is always something so much more productive I could be doing. It just doesn't do anything for me, as I never experience that "itch" so many people have described to me, that thing they must scratch. Sex is just an activity, one I could as easily replace with something more productive, like writing or baking a cake. And as far as romance, I admit I am willing to reevaluate my interest in that one day, but for now, the entire concept of being in a relationship and beholden unto another person simply does not interest me, and actually seems...unappealing, though I understand why other people seek it -- for companionship, reassurance, comfort, and many other reasons.

An enamel pin I purchased off of StoreEnvy from Kerin Cunningham

Somewhat understandably, I have been asked how this affects my writing, especially in the writing and enjoyment of character romances in stories. While I do not seek romance or sex in my personal life, I do enjoy watching characters in movies, shows, games, and books seeking it for themselves. There is a bit of a disconnect between myself and the fictional counterpart I am following if the plot is based heavily on characters experiencing and being influenced by lust alone, as that is not something I have ever experienced. I prefer to enjoy stories of complex relationships that develop over a long period of time (I mean a long time. Like several novel lengths). I also prefer novels to focus on issues apart from the relationship, which I like to see develop alongside the bigger plot narrative.

An acepride flag button from Laura, and an Ace Illuminati pin from Lauren (a long standing reference to not only the old internet meme, but our character on the game Secret World).

As you might gather, I am not an enormous fan of romance novels, though I do not dislike them. Often I read them with the intent of absorbing new and different ways to present language for those more romantic scenes I would like to include in my own stories. Often, this is how I personally achieve including romantic subplots in my novels -- I mimic either what I have seen in other novels that worked for that story or I base it on the observations I have made of the people around me. People watching is a favorite hobby of mine, and a great way to form new and interesting characters and perspectives.

Another important source of perspective for me are my widely varied acquaintances who do not mind my very odd questions about their sex and love lives. I am extremely grateful for their patience and understanding in trying to give me answers to questions they likely never expected to try to answer -- such as why people find lingerie appealing and why couples tend to have sex on birthdays, anniversaries, and other such occasions.

I am certain this very long post has opened up even more questions, and, so long as what you have to ask is respectful, I do not mind fielding them. Feel free to hit me up through our Facebook page.

https://www.facebook.com/anna.lauren.authors/

Until next time,
Anna